Allow myself to introduce...myself. I'm Helpy Helperton.
I'm a former Bigfoot Enthusiast™ who's finally seen the light. I'm in
my late 40's and have had a mostly lifelong but passing interest in the
stories and accounts of the Big Hairy Beast™ (not talking about Bea
Arthur) running around the countryside 'freaking people out'. It
always sounded plausible enough. It was at least mysterious enough.
While growing up, and long prior to the Internet, books and
information on the subject were less than abundant, so my passing
interest mostly just kept passing. Once in awhile a new book or two
would surface and I'd eat it all up and be all Bigfoot crazy for a couple
months or so. Once the web arrived, it wasn't long before I discovered
(to my amazement) 'others' of my ilk were checking it out for the same
reason...Bigfoot.
I took an interest in a few things here and there but I wasn't really
learning anything I hadn't already heard or read 347 times. Then about
5 years ago I discovered an actual Bigfoot discussion forum, complete
with the proper Bigfoot forum software and Bigfoot Weirdos™ and
everything. So with ignorance and nary a thought as to how stupid this
whole 'Bigfoot thing' really was, I proceeded to quasi-regularly
participate in a 'discussion' whose single and sole topic was the BHB™.
All Bigfoot all the time. I actually became one of the Bigfoot Weirdos
for a spell - and for a certain portion of that time, I was a forum
moderator. A Certified Bigfoot Weirdo™. A dubious distinction to be
sure. More on that here and here.
Regardless, through such endless (and mostly mindless) discussion,
I've come to see that Bigfoot, masquerading as the genuine BHB™,
does not exist. Again, Bigfoot does not exist. There is no Bigfoot. An
obvious fact to me now, yet consistently still in debate amongst that
Discussion Forum Crowd™. Bigfoot is only a concept. A bad dream. A
turd. A moose. He's anything you want him to be. The explicit and
undeniable proof of that exists within said discussion.
The cosmic reality for the rest of us says there is no viable, provable
evidence, of any kind, such a creature exists. There's not been even a
good 8x10 glossy picture taken of the bastard. There is one infamous
motion picture film (PGF) of about 15 seconds that shows a compelling
yet suspicious 'hairy bipedal subject', but the film's veracity and origins
have never been totally proven. Curiously, being there's never been
another film even remotely like it (with similar seeming authenticity)
taken over the 40+ years since, a lot of weight has to be given to the
idea the film is less than authentic.
Folks, Bigfoot is not a three dimensional, flesh and blood, living,
farting, alimony paying entity. A supposed huge, hairy, bipedal, foul
smelling beast. Not even close. It's just not. You really need to get
over it. Which is more precisely the reason for this site. To ridicule,
berate, annoy, accuse, allege, hint, laugh and piss off those Bigfoot
lumps who just never get it and regularly demonstrate how ill-equipped
they really are to both get it and get over it.
I'm a former Bigfoot Enthusiast™ who's finally seen the light. I'm in
my late 40's and have had a mostly lifelong but passing interest in the
stories and accounts of the Big Hairy Beast™ (not talking about Bea
Arthur) running around the countryside 'freaking people out'. It
always sounded plausible enough. It was at least mysterious enough.
While growing up, and long prior to the Internet, books and
information on the subject were less than abundant, so my passing
interest mostly just kept passing. Once in awhile a new book or two
would surface and I'd eat it all up and be all Bigfoot crazy for a couple
months or so. Once the web arrived, it wasn't long before I discovered
(to my amazement) 'others' of my ilk were checking it out for the same
reason...Bigfoot.
I took an interest in a few things here and there but I wasn't really
learning anything I hadn't already heard or read 347 times. Then about
5 years ago I discovered an actual Bigfoot discussion forum, complete
with the proper Bigfoot forum software and Bigfoot Weirdos™ and
everything. So with ignorance and nary a thought as to how stupid this
whole 'Bigfoot thing' really was, I proceeded to quasi-regularly
participate in a 'discussion' whose single and sole topic was the BHB™.
All Bigfoot all the time. I actually became one of the Bigfoot Weirdos
for a spell - and for a certain portion of that time, I was a forum
moderator. A Certified Bigfoot Weirdo™. A dubious distinction to be
sure. More on that here and here.
Regardless, through such endless (and mostly mindless) discussion,
I've come to see that Bigfoot, masquerading as the genuine BHB™,
does not exist. Again, Bigfoot does not exist. There is no Bigfoot. An
obvious fact to me now, yet consistently still in debate amongst that
Discussion Forum Crowd™. Bigfoot is only a concept. A bad dream. A
turd. A moose. He's anything you want him to be. The explicit and
undeniable proof of that exists within said discussion.
The cosmic reality for the rest of us says there is no viable, provable
evidence, of any kind, such a creature exists. There's not been even a
good 8x10 glossy picture taken of the bastard. There is one infamous
motion picture film (PGF) of about 15 seconds that shows a compelling
yet suspicious 'hairy bipedal subject', but the film's veracity and origins
have never been totally proven. Curiously, being there's never been
another film even remotely like it (with similar seeming authenticity)
taken over the 40+ years since, a lot of weight has to be given to the
idea the film is less than authentic.
Folks, Bigfoot is not a three dimensional, flesh and blood, living,
farting, alimony paying entity. A supposed huge, hairy, bipedal, foul
smelling beast. Not even close. It's just not. You really need to get
over it. Which is more precisely the reason for this site. To ridicule,
berate, annoy, accuse, allege, hint, laugh and piss off those Bigfoot
lumps who just never get it and regularly demonstrate how ill-equipped
they really are to both get it and get over it.
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