Allow myself to introduce...myself. I'm Helpy Helperton.
I'm a former Bigfoot Enthusiast™ who's finally seen the light. I'm in my late 40's
and have had a mostly lifelong but passing interest in the stories and accounts of
the Big Hairy Beast™ (not talking about Bea Arthur) running around the
countryside 'freaking people out'. It always sounded plausible enough. It was at
least mysterious enough.
While growing up, and long prior to the Internet, books and information on the
subject were less than abundant, so my passing interest mostly just kept passing.
Once in awhile a new book or two would surface and I'd eat it all up and be all
Bigfoot crazy for a couple months or so. Once the web arrived, it wasn't long
before I discovered (to my amazement) 'others' of my ilk were checking it out for
the same reason...Bigfoot.
I took an interest in a few things here and there but I wasn't really learning anything
I hadn't already heard or read 347 times. Then about 5 years ago I discovered an
actual Bigfoot discussion forum, complete with the proper Bigfoot forum software
and Bigfoot Weirdos™ and everything. So with ignorance and nary a thought as to
how stupid this whole 'Bigfoot thing' really was, I proceeded to quasi-regularly
participate in a 'discussion' whose single and sole topic was the BHB™. All Bigfoot
all the time. I actually became one of the Bigfoot Weirdos for a spell - and for a
certain portion of that time, I was a forum moderator. A Certified Bigfoot Weirdo™.
A dubious distinction to be sure.
Regardless, through such endless (and mostly mindless) discussion, I've come to
see that Bigfoot, masquerading as the genuine BHB™, does not exist. Again,
Bigfoot does not exist. There is no Bigfoot. An obvious fact to me now, yet
consistently still in debate amongst that Discussion Forum Crowd™. Bigfoot is
only a concept. A bad dream. A turd. A moose. He's anything you want him to
be. The explicit and undeniable proof of that exists within said discussion.
The cosmic reality for the rest of us says there is no viable, provable evidence, of
any kind, such a creature exists. There's not been even a good 8x10 glossy
picture taken of the bastard. There is one infamous motion picture film (PGF) of
about 15 seconds that shows a compelling yet suspicious 'hairy bipedal subject',
but the film's veracity and origins have never been totally proven. Curiously, being
there's never been another film even remotely like it (with similar seeming
authenticity) taken over the 40+ years since, a lot of weight has to be given to the
idea the film is less than authentic.
Folks, Bigfoot is not a three dimensional, flesh and blood, living, farting, alimony
paying entity. A supposed huge, hairy, bipedal, foul smelling beast. Not even
close. It's just not. You really need to get over it. Which is more precisely the
reason for this site. To ridicule, berate, annoy, accuse, allege, hint, laugh and piss
off those Bigfoot lumps who just never get it and regularly demonstrate how ill-
equipped they really are to both get it and get over it.
I'm a former Bigfoot Enthusiast™ who's finally seen the light. I'm in my late 40's
and have had a mostly lifelong but passing interest in the stories and accounts of
the Big Hairy Beast™ (not talking about Bea Arthur) running around the
countryside 'freaking people out'. It always sounded plausible enough. It was at
least mysterious enough.
While growing up, and long prior to the Internet, books and information on the
subject were less than abundant, so my passing interest mostly just kept passing.
Once in awhile a new book or two would surface and I'd eat it all up and be all
Bigfoot crazy for a couple months or so. Once the web arrived, it wasn't long
before I discovered (to my amazement) 'others' of my ilk were checking it out for
the same reason...Bigfoot.
I took an interest in a few things here and there but I wasn't really learning anything
I hadn't already heard or read 347 times. Then about 5 years ago I discovered an
actual Bigfoot discussion forum, complete with the proper Bigfoot forum software
and Bigfoot Weirdos™ and everything. So with ignorance and nary a thought as to
how stupid this whole 'Bigfoot thing' really was, I proceeded to quasi-regularly
participate in a 'discussion' whose single and sole topic was the BHB™. All Bigfoot
all the time. I actually became one of the Bigfoot Weirdos for a spell - and for a
certain portion of that time, I was a forum moderator. A Certified Bigfoot Weirdo™.
A dubious distinction to be sure.
Regardless, through such endless (and mostly mindless) discussion, I've come to
see that Bigfoot, masquerading as the genuine BHB™, does not exist. Again,
Bigfoot does not exist. There is no Bigfoot. An obvious fact to me now, yet
consistently still in debate amongst that Discussion Forum Crowd™. Bigfoot is
only a concept. A bad dream. A turd. A moose. He's anything you want him to
be. The explicit and undeniable proof of that exists within said discussion.
The cosmic reality for the rest of us says there is no viable, provable evidence, of
any kind, such a creature exists. There's not been even a good 8x10 glossy
picture taken of the bastard. There is one infamous motion picture film (PGF) of
about 15 seconds that shows a compelling yet suspicious 'hairy bipedal subject',
but the film's veracity and origins have never been totally proven. Curiously, being
there's never been another film even remotely like it (with similar seeming
authenticity) taken over the 40+ years since, a lot of weight has to be given to the
idea the film is less than authentic.
Folks, Bigfoot is not a three dimensional, flesh and blood, living, farting, alimony
paying entity. A supposed huge, hairy, bipedal, foul smelling beast. Not even
close. It's just not. You really need to get over it. Which is more precisely the
reason for this site. To ridicule, berate, annoy, accuse, allege, hint, laugh and piss
off those Bigfoot lumps who just never get it and regularly demonstrate how ill-
equipped they really are to both get it and get over it.
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